Ah.

Today is marvelous. I woke up to sun and dryness and at a decent hour, which was very satisfying. I've been getting kind of depressed between the dreariness and the isolation, so to have sun is most excellent. I love walking here when it's sunny; the birds were all out making chirrupy spring noises, and I even saw some little crocuses popping up. There's just a better vibe in general when it's not nasty out.

I still can't get over how mossy it is. There are lots of trees that have vast swatches of furry green business all over, which is REALLY cool looking and makes me want to be a hermit and live in the woods where I can just bum around and observe my surroundings. The other day I saw a bluebird, which we don't really get so much in the south, so I stood there and stared at it for almost three minutes until it freaked out and started squawking at me. I've been doing that a lot; just stopping and staring vacantly at things.

This morning I walked over to Trader Joe's and bought way too much delicious food. I keep forgetting that I have to walk home with it afterwards, which is probably good exercise but miserable to actually do. Now I feel all shaky.

I've been putting off way too much work, so today and tomorrow are purely work days. I'm really glad I don't have school on Fridays, I don't know if I'd ever get anything done. I barely do anything as it is. Sooo...lazy...

I miss everyone very much. I have trouble calling my parents because I tend to get really upset afterwards; my dad sounds so sad and tired lately. I kind of feel like I'm letting them down by not being more awesome here. I need to find a job so badly; I'm running out of money very quickly. It's a little scary. I'm going to go ahead and buy my plane ticket home just in case I can't afford it later. Consequently, I plan to be coming home on the 20th or so of May. This is obviously subject to change, but I think I may stay at GSU next year so that I can save up money for study abroad stuff, and for a car. I really like PNCA, but I think that the education I was getting at GSU is really comparable. So, how 'bout free instead of 18,000 + a year? I'd like to come back to Portland post-21st birthday when I can really partake in the full range of activities the city has to offer. Also, next time I'm coming in the spring/summer and skipping this winter shit. What an unfortunate introduction: "it's cold and wet, all the time!" Well, it does seem to be getting better; I ate lunch on our balcony and it felt good out there. I have my window open now too.

I can't wait for Kate & Will & Monty to visit. It's so excellent to have something like that to look forward to. I have many plans: we will visit the zoo, and the gardens, and the market, maybe go kayaking, maybe go to the coast, see Crystal Castles, blah blah blah. UH, can you guys just stay here with me until May?

I got some posters that I ordered today. I got so sick of looking at my plain white walls that I freaked out and bought a Mucha print and a Salvador Dali print, which look very nice in here. I'm still looking for somewhere to put glittery fish # 2, he's very heavy. I probably shouldn't be spending my slim funds on decor, but I can't stand feeling like I don't have a real home.

I'm worried about coming home, what if my cat doesn't remember me? Being here has made me realize how much I like cats, and animals in general. I have a couple of friends/acquaintances who have cats, and I get so excited when I get to hang out with the cats. Suki's cat, Axl, has decided that it is acceptable for him to sit on my lap. He's very pretty, but also very hairy. I thought about getting a cat, but there's not really enough room and I would have trouble taking it home, so I guess it's not really an option. Oh well. No pets for now.

I really want to take a nap, but I have way too much stuff to do.